The Middle

Our separation was bad. I mean REALLY bad. Like, The Last Airbender Bad. Let’s just say it was my fault, tears were shed, things were said and I never saw Huey again. Until MySpace. Ahhh isn’t social networking great? After I recovered from the shock of seeing his name, I pulled myself together and read it. There was no venomous hatred of me, telling me once again about myself. No “screw you’s” or “I still hate you and just wanted to let you know”. Just a friendly message. Something like “Hey Rem, how you doing, gimme a call.”

*blank stare*

Call? CALL? Really?? He wants to speak to ME?? Why??

After I picked up my face, I calmed down a bit and started thinking. I know it’s just so he can get revenge. What would I even say? Do we still have anything in common? So many questions that could only be answered if I just picked up the phone and gave him a shout. The person I had become at that point was interested, but brushed it off. You see, I USED to be a fun, outgoing, lively social butterfly. Somewhere between the time Huey and I broke up and “the message”, all the life had been sucked out of me. Slowly at first and then one day I realized I was no longer the same free spirited person. My Saturdays once spent traipsing about town with my friends and ogling cute boys had now been relegated to trips to Best Buy and Circuit City. Going to the mall and watching whatever boring show happened to be on had become my existence (Sidebar: Do you have any idea how many times I spelled “existence” wrong before I had to look it up to spell it right?) Anyway, what the hell happened to me? I won’t blame Braxton, but I won’t say it wasn’t his fault as much as it was mine. We were two different people and I always knew that, but I thought that was what I needed. Someone grounded and stable. I felt like I was too much of a wild card to be left alone to my own devices. Somewhere in the 7 years we were together, a bit of me rubbed off on him, but A LOT of him rubbed off on me. Our relationship was in a shambles, but neither one of us was uncomfortable enough with it do to the other a favor and just leave.