When did I become THAT person?

This post was actually written a few months ago, but I never got around to finishing it. I had an experience on my morning commute and I just HAD to write it down.

When did I become THAT person? By that I mean, at what point did I become the person on the train/bus/street that you see and you pretend you don't so you don't have to talk to them??

I've always tried to follow the "rules" of random encounters with people you know. Mind you these are just off the top of my head, but there are unwritten rules that I think most of us have when it comes to situations like those.




1. Don't suck people into unnecessary conversation. You know, the types of exchanges about the weather and such that just fill gaps in time where it's perfectly fine to be quiet but people just can't seem to do it.
2. Don't stop them in odd places (like,  crossing the street, when they're obviously rushing, or stopping and striking up long conversations while they're with other people).
3. Don't interrupt them while a dinner, shows, etc. Places where they'd miss something if they stopped to have a long conversation with you.

Of course there are always going to be exceptions to these rules, but I think it's the most polite way to acknowledge someone while still NOT invading their "space". 


I'd go so far as to say that I'm a pleasant enough person that it wouldn't be a HORRIBLE thing to talk to me for a few minutes, but people don't HAVE to because I don't obligate one to do it. I'm usually the hi & bye type myself so there's no pressure. It makes it even more confusing when I see someone who I used to hang out with on a pretty regular basis and they don't speak. Who does that? Can a sista get a wave? A head nod? Blink at me real fast so I know you saw me. Something. I totally get it if we were just passing acquaintances who really didn't speak to each other all that much. Those are the people that I expect not to put too much effort into speaking to me. I'm OK with that, I do it myself on occasion.

With all that said, as I write this, I sit across from someone who I've had this experience with before. And to my non-surprise, I'm having it again. I learned all too quickly that they did not want to be sucked into ANY type of exchange with me and I've respected that. When I see them, which is actually more often then I'd like, I keep it moving. My thing is, do they know that I see them and choose not to speak or do they think that I don't see them and they're deftly avoiding the pain of having to acknowledge my presence and at least smile? If it's the former, you know what? I can accept that. I really can. It happens. What I can't accept is that when this person realized they didn't like me or didn't feel like they wanted to speak to me anymore years ago, they kept doing it, giving me the illusion that we were cool with each other in some capacity. Da hell was THAT about?? They could have totally saved me some confusion and I would have just been like "oh well". (I've had people abruptly stop speaking to me before because of whatever and while it was kinda messed up, at least I have no false ideas about how to proceed when I see them)

Now I'm re-evaluating my whole screening process. Who am I currently "friends" with that at the drop of hat are going to see me and just keep it moving like I'm a stranger on the street? Is it you? Or maybe you? *side eyeing everyone*